I won't be silient

Before, I get into my feelings on President Packer's talk this past general conference; I would first like to apologize to my family and friends that were hurt by this. I am sorry that this hurt you, but mostly I am sorry that I have stayed silent for this long. I love you all. 

In my past three years as a member of the church, General Conference has definitely become one of my favorite parts.  It is always interesting, and I truly do feel enlightened and full of joy at the end of Conference weekend. The same could not be said for this General Conference session. This is wholly due to President Packer's talk. At the end of it, I felt distant from the church. I felt that I was going to have to choose between the church, and my personal beliefs that I have taken a lot of time, and effort to develop. I felt like I was going to have to give up a part of myself, or give up the church. I have spent these last few days in tears, and complete confusion. 

I, like many other pro-gay rights mormons, felt that the church was taking steps toward bridging the gap, that so sadly was amplified during the prop 8 campaign, between members, and the LGBT community. I felt that Elder Jensen of the seventies words in that meeting, and that the acceptance of a biological, or some sort of instinctive nature towards same-sex attraction were both signs of a step in the right direction. I never expected the church to change it's stance on eternal marriage, but I definitely didn't expect an apostle of the church to get up and proclaim that being homosexual is a choice, and that fighting for marriage equality is wrong.  It is well known that gay teens are far more likely to commit suicide, and more likely to end up homeless. Why? Because they are ostracized. They are told they can change, and when they work hard, but the feelings never go over, they give up.  If there are people out there that need to feel Heavenly Father's love, it is them. I would have much preferred a talk that told parents to love their kids through thick and thin. To not throw their children out on the street when they come out, when they drink, when they tell you that they are pregnant (out of wedlock).  That is what people need to remember, that you agreed to love your children no matter what, and as a member of the church you agreed to love everybody no matter what. Or if he added in his talk that sometimes the feelings cannot be overcome. Instead, I felt that this was a  talk that would increase bigotry, and make the already horrible relationship between the LGBT community and the Church even worse. The talk may have not intended this, but as we can see by the outbreak of attention given to this talk, it did just that. 

I fight for marriage equality because I believe it is protected in our constitution. I do not believe that religious values or morals should deny anyone the freedom they so rightly deserve. With marriage comes benefits, benefits that heterosexual couples take for-granted. I cannot deny these rights to people I love. I agree with Martin Luther King Jr. when he said, "Let us consider a more concrete example of just and unjust laws. An unjust law is a code that a numerical or power majority group compels a minority group to obey but does not make binding on itself. This is difference made legal. By the same token, a just law is a code that a majority compels a minority to follow and that it is willing to follow itself. This is sameness made legal."  Denying a minority group the right to marry is unjust. Finally, I fight for it because they did NOT choose this life. No one would choose a life of ridicule, a life where they are not treated the same, a life where millions of people tell them everyday that they are going to hell. No one would want that. There is plenty of scientific proof that homosexuality is genetic. I am not going to ask someone to live a life without love, because of my religious views. That is selfish. 

I have a testimony of the church, that should not be doubted. My testimony, Harry Reid's testimony, and the testimony of countless other members who support marriage equality, should not be questioned.  I cannot stand here silent, pretending that nothing happened. If anything, I will now be more vocal, and open about my feelings for the rights of ALL people. 

I love you all, and so does God. We are His children, and not one of us is any better than the other.